


That's My Name

by why64



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Pride, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 08:51:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15215510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why64/pseuds/why64
Summary: Dave realizing he's trans at a party while Karkat makes it really known that he doesn't drink.





	That's My Name

This just felt weird. The dress that wraps around my waist is too tight and extremely uncomfortable. I watch myself in the mirror, analyzing my dark skin and fiery red eyes. My curly bleach blonde hair looks like shit, and the freckles around my face made me seem like a fucking girly girl. My eyes focus on my chest, which fills me with disgust. Alas, I had to make it to Roxy’s stupid party.  
My brother stops me on my way out. He scans me and smiles. “You look nice. Where ya goin?” He asks.  
“Roxy is havin’ a get together, that kinda shit. Really dreading it.” I respond. My brother pissed me off. All those fights on the roof, all those times he’s kicked my ass. The feeling never went away. Never.  
“Aight well be safe. Text me when you’re on your way home, ‘kay?” He says. He turns on the TV and puts on some anime.  
“Sure.” I said, before leaving for Roxy’s.

Roxy’s house was way too small for this many people. Lights were flashing, music was playing way too loud, however they were drowned by people’s voices. I used to enjoy partying, however recently the thought disgusts me.  
I notice John talking to Karkat as he sips a drink. I walk over to them and say hi.  
“Hey girl!” John said. His red solo cup was filled halfway with whatever drink.  
“Hey.” I said back. There wasn’t much to say. Karkat kept looking at me. The bastard was so pale it was disgusting, and he had black hair with ginger roots. His eyebrows were way too big and he was still wearing braces, being at 19 years old. He was pudgy and had a noticeable double chin. He was cute though. I dunno if I’d date him, but I’d certainly go out with him or hook up. That’s kinda what I’ve been doing nowadays. I’ve been too much of a fucking mess to keep up with healthy relationships. But that’s whatever.  
Another thing I knew about Karkat was that he was transgender. I don’t know too much about that but he’s pretty open about it. He gets really fucking angry when people call him by his legal name. I would be too, I guess.  
I talk to John and Karkat for a bit before I have my first shot. It surprisingly takes me very little alcohol for me to get drunk. Obviously I’m not already, but I’m feeling good.  
“I don’t drink.” I heard someone tell me. I turn and it’s Karkat. Like that makes me feel better at all.  
“And I don’t care.” I respond. Why am I so annoyed? Why does Karkat make me feel angry or almost jealous? “In fact,” I say. I take another mini red solo cup and wash down another shot. “I really don’t care.”  
“What’s that supposed to fucking mean?” Karkat asked. He had an angry look on his face. “You’re a piece of shit.” He said. I grabbed another shot. This was starting to hit me. I wanted to ask Karkat about being trans. Like, how did he know. What if I am? How did he choose his name? I’m not too close to him so it might be awkward. Instead of asking any of the questions on my mind, I gave him the bird and tried to find someone to talk to.  
Everyone just seemed like they were having a good time without me. It just felt like someone had someone else to talk to and be around. It honestly fucking sucked. I went in into the backyard and sat in the grass. I felt just terrible. Like no one cared. I looked down at my dress. I fucking hate it. It’s ugly and disgusting and not me. I felt trapped. I felt horrible.  
I saw Karkat again, this time coming out into the backyard. I didn’t expect him to sit next to me. I turn to him and look at him.  
“Listen, John said I should apologize. I shouldn’t have fucking made you feel bad for drinking. I just don’t drink because shit in the past. I hate it though. But I shoulda kept my fucking mouth shut.” Karkat said. He brought his knees to his chin and wrapped his arms around himself.  
“Man, don’t sweat it.” I said. It was getting really dark. I look up at the sky and identify the stars. They all looked so gorgeous. “I shouldn’t be drinking. I’m feeling weird.” I say. “Hey, Karkat,” I turn to him and instantly look back down at my shoes. “How do you… How do you know if you’re trans?” I ask.  
Karkat looked thrown off by my question. He looked down at the grass. “Oh, uh, you just know. I never felt comfortable with being a girl and I just fucking hated it. It was worse than being alive. It just felt unreal. But when I bought my binder, I cried of happiness. I just felt so good. I felt like me for once, you know? It’s weird, I know, but hey. Why do you care?” Karkat asks. I couldn’t look at him in the eye. I just felt frozen in time.  
“I dunno,” I say. Why am I opening up to this guy? “I just feel like something’s wrong with me. Ever since I was a kid something has been off. Like, fuck, all I wear are dresses and skirts and shit. There’s no way I could be trans, right?” I felt tears on the corners of my eyes. Fuck.  
“I mean, I can’t say what you are and what you’re not. Are you happy as a girl? Jesus dude, I’m not a therapist.” Karkat sighed.  
“Shut up,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I just feel so uncomfortable.”  
“What if I just called you, I dunno,” Karkat looked up at the starry sky. “Dave? Yeah, what if I just called you Dave or something.”  
Dave. That’s a nice simple name. Can girls be called Dave? Nah. But it felt nice.  
“I dunno… That’s kinda nice?” I turn to Karkat. He twists his lips.  
“Try to call yourself Dave or whatever stupid name you want. Maybe experimenting will help.” Karkat said. He stands up. “I’m gonna get a water. Get up, Dave.”  
I try not to smile, but it was just such a crazy feeling. I get up from the grass. “Yeah… I like that.” I say. Karkat looked at me and smiles.  
“Dave. I like it too.”


End file.
